Random Thursdays - Random Ramblings

I wrote the following earlier this week while having a bit of a drama mama moment. I thought it was kind of funny, but not for Work Wednesdays - gotta keep that one positive. However, random ramblings with a touch of insanity are ok for Random Thursdays, so hope this makes you laugh.

Rush, rush, rush to be in a chair by 9am. To do nothing. Send email to my bankers and the other assistants to see if they need help. Nobody to talk to, barely anyone even looks at you when they walk by. Try to plan the day, break it up with a snack, a bathroom break and if I'm lucky a trip to the cafeteria to get some coffee. Can barely wait until lunch and then until 5. I shouldn't complain, I am getting paid to answer two phone calls per hour.

Wow, when people sneeze and I say bless you, they don't say thanks. I think this side people are weird and a bit rude. The silence makes me want to run through the maze of cubicles saying silly things. The big boss is really nice and friendly as is one other guy but the rest of them, wow, they look right through you. The first time I was here it was different. Sat with 3 other assistants who were really nice, had some travel booking projects and had the Figi water crisis. Still slow but not at this level.

I'm going into rigor mortis. I'm comatose. I'm falling asleep reading the news on the internet. I'm supposed to look "alert and willing to take on work", sure when someone walks by I manage to yank myself out of the hypnotized stupor I'm in but they don't even acknowledge me at all. Plus it's cold, I wish I had my hoodie and could put my head down on the desk. That or escape to the sunshine outside. How is it that the office job is sapping me of my will to live? I'm actually wilting here. I need the money but I need to find something more rewarding and challenging to do. I think my work ethic is getting the better of me today.

Work Wednesdays - The slash/slash/slash job

I didn't post yesterday. I suppose I wasn't sure what to write about and I was actually quite busy, not an excuse though. So today I've been struggling to come up with an idea about what to write about and I check my mailbox. Guess what's there? My Outside Magazine and on the cover it says "The 50 Best Jobs". Ironic, isn't it?

This led me to pull out my old life saving issue of Outside Magazine and an old notebook where I wrote about different things I want to do. Yesterday I met up with some friends I used to work with, got a lovely email from a friend I met in Bali, talked on the phone with my sister (who is my friend - not everyone can say that about their siblings, you know) and went surfing with another friend. I had such a great day.

So today I will write an ode to my current job, the slash/slash/slash job. Allow me elaborate. My current state of affairs is that I have a variety of jobs, I temp, I design, I dog sit and I research. Although I miss the security of a regular paycheck, being that I still get regular bills, I absolutely LOVE the flexibility that I have.

Sometimes I get anxious about the money factor and sometimes shit happens that ends up costing me a lot of money, such as the week of vehicular trauma - however ALL of that is outweighed by the freedom I have. Specifically now I have more time to see people I care about, spend time catching up with them and being a part of their lives. In addition to connecting, I make time for important things like being creative, doing yoga, going surfing and working on my own business ventures.

Whilst this goes against the grain of every social rule we have been indoctrinated with, is running yourself ragged for a regular paycheck really worth it? For me it's not. Yes, granted, I am extremely fortunate, I don't have to financially support anyone but me. Maybe one day that will change, maybe one day I will tire of the lack of consistency and "security" but for now this fits. So today I thank God for my slash/slash/slash random jobs.

PS When I went to the art function on Earth Day, I had a fortune cookie and it said the following: "The voyage of discovery is not in the seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. Marcel Proust" I just thought that was so lovely, I had to share.

It's Earth Day!

Since I have not quite figured out what Tuesday's theme will be, I just figured I would write about Earth Day.

I tend to get really taken with the beauty of our natural environment, it often leaves me breathless - especially in the last few months where I have taken the time to appreciate it all the more. Very often I can be caught at the beach going on and on and on about how gorgeous it is.

I started to write a post about a recent discussion I had with someone about conservation, but the whole sentiment of the debate is annoying me so I just deleted everything.

What I really want to say about Earth Day is that if you have a gift shouldn't you cherish it? The world is a treasure and why shouldn't we do what we can as individuals and a collective society to conserve it?

So in honor of Earth Day, I'm going to do some walking in the sun, some yogaing, some meditating and some art projects. Hope you do something nice too.

Post script
I sat in the sun in Bryant Park and I went to an Earth Day art event at the Creative Pier in Union Square, where I played with paint, glue, paper and scissors. It was fun.

How Outside Magazine Saved My Life...

I had been itching to get out of the airline business pretty much since I got into it. The summer I was 14, I worked in my dad's warehouse doing data entry, labeling newspapers and doing other stuff. It was a weird world I had ventured into, the walk from the office to the bathroom, all the way on the other side of the warehouse, was particularly scary for a 14 year old girl. There were stories of crazy people - like the crazy old European woman that would lift up her dress in meetings with her vendors and crazy people that tried to make me memorize the international rule and tariff books, for fun. I think that the combination of lacking sunlight and wacky people made me not want to ever go back. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the job from my dad but I just wasn't that into it.

So numerous years and accelerated summer courses later, I landed back with my pops. What you may or may not know is that both my parents worked in the airline industry and my dad used to take me to the airport with him when I was a baby. I joke that I must have inhaled too much jet fuel as a kid.

So what I expected to be a short term gig, ended up becoming a career - one that I never actually wanted. No doubt it was what I needed at the time, I used to be scared to answer the phone and years later I could be found sitting at my desk with my office phone on one ear and my cell phone on the other! But jokes aside, I got stuck, I let it happen. My mom says I'm a gypsy, and that is something, along with all my creative aspirations, I turned off. At least I thought I could.

So I had this great, very hectic career, working with some awesome people and I couldn't breathe anymore. Traveled the world (didn't see much of it), rented an apartment in Manhattan (didn't see much of it) and I couldn't take it anymore.

Around the summer I turned 30, some great people made their way into my life and helped me uncover some of those passions of mine that I thought had been long lost at this point. I am a person that used to look at the sky, trees or ocean and try to see how many different shades of color and shapes I could see. It's sort of about training your eye and mine had been severely out of focus.

It took me months of mental anguish to start taking the steps to make some of the changes I needed to make. At a particular low point, I had to go on a few business trips. I was at the airport browsing the magazine stand and I saw the cover of Outside Magazine, on it were three surfers and it said "Dream Jobs - Turn Your Passion into a Paycheck." I didn't buy the magazine on the first flight or the second or the third. Finally on the fourth flight, after a particularly aggravating conversation about my career path, I bought it. I read the issue from cover to cover on that flight.

I realized there are millions of people in this world who hate their jobs but that I did not have to be one of them. Sure, it is only a small percentage of people that are successful doing something they totally love to do, but what is stopping me from being one of them? Me - that's my obstacle, that's it. So if basket weaving is what turns me on, might as well go for it.

I guess today is online journal day, given that I have spent hours online looking for a job over the past few weeks and I don't feel I'm getting anywhere at all, I think I had to remind myself what it's really all about.

PS Pick up an issue of Outside Magazine and get inspired!

Photo credit - Outside Magazine.

6 Months Later....

So I started documenting my journey 6 months ago and so much has happened. I have been half way around the world and back - it almost doesn't seem real. I made some really great new friends and have been able to spend some quality time with old friends and family. Lots of catching up on the last few years.

Did I have that epiphany as to what to do with the rest of my life? No, not at all. I think one of the hazards of taking off and doing something like this is that you can end up more confused than ever. I know other friends have gone through this. You start running out of money, you don't want to go back to a corporate world and way of life but you have NO clue what you want to do.

What have I learned? I know I like to chill out and live life a little more slowly, but I also know I like certain parts of city life and it's vibrancy. I know I have great friends and family, that every time I start to get stressed out about where I'm going seem to have just the right things to say to me. It's weird, I did this thing - traveling across the world by myself, quitting my job and looking to start over doing something else and I get scared just putting a resume together. Aren't there jobs for people who want to travel, write, take pictures, do yoga and surf?

I had plans to start a yoga teacher training course now in April but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. Isn't that a funny way to remind me everything happens for a reason and I should just go with the flow? Strange.

But don't take this post as me bitching and complaining - I am happy and I am so so so happy I did what I did. It's probably the biggest gift I could ever have given myself. Somehow I just thought it might be good to recap the last 6 months and give an honest statement of where I am now. So I will keep blogging about where ever I am and whatever I am doing, if only for myself. I am kind of liking this online journal thing!